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Hello stranger…

How are you today? I must say that I am really tired after sleeping only four hours. I am trying to reset my sleep schedule, wish me luck.

I booked my ticket to go back home one day before my birthday and I hope everything will be okay. I am excited to go, can’t wait to spend time with my family and my dogs and play guitar and I am dying to eat some traditional food…

Quick update about my anxiety, I have started noticing the physical signs.

I have a lot of hair and it’s thick and long, when I am stressed it starts falling out and yesterday after I washed it, well, I had a fist full of fallen hair which is a lot in my case. I will try meditation to calm down the anxiety. I am already feeling better.

I also get some kind of skin rash and I can’t stop scratching so I decided to get my nails short, less damage and temptation I guess. My weight loss (I gained a few pounds after I started working in aviation, not a lot but I want to get rid of what's unnecessary) seems to have slowed down a bit too so yesterday I decided to change my daily steps goal from 10,000 to 15,000 just to be more active and I also do splits training because I have lost a bit of my flexibility, plus 30 minutes or 1 hour workout (never the same one, I have a routine).

I am really surprised my face isn’t breaking out, I was expecting one or two pimples but nope, it’s glowing! I am so happy to see it like this…

Bare with me if you want to know a short story about my skin journey.

Until November 2019 I suffered from hormonal and cystic acne and it was getting just worse. I went to different dermatologists in my country and they just messed it up completely. Sure, I lacked the knowledge but so did they.

I was ashamed even to leave the house with make-up on and I had to wear a full face of make-up all the time for work and most of my shifts were 9+ hours. That didn’t help my skin either, it was always crazy oily because I had to refresh my make-up constantly. I ended up thinking I have oily skin but actually, that’s not true and I can see it now. My skin rarely gets oily nowadays! I was living in a bubble of lies for years…

When I couldn’t take it anymore, my best friend told me that she heard good things about The Ordinary products and invited me to join a group which was full of information about different types of skin, what products could be suitable for each one of them, acne and the different types of acne (you’d be surprised to hear how many types of acne there are out there), how to start a routine from scratch, what to do and what to not do, what ingredients make a product a big NO in our routine, how to start using acids (it’s not as bad as it sounds, they do wonders) and obviously the importance of wearing sunscreen everyday.

I’ve started reading and reading and I took notes about my skin problems and what products I could start with, wrote down the routine and ordered them.

I changed every single product! I stopped using the crap my former dermatologist gave me to ‘cure’ acne but it was just burning my skin so, basically, the first month it was just a lot of hydration in order to repair my skin barrier and trust me, it was a lot of damage and only once per week 2-3 drops of Niacinamide and although my skin was purging, I could really see huge improvements. My self-esteem stopped being so low and I don’t feel ashamed anymore when someone looks at me, now I feel like I can finally make and maintain eye contact. That’s something new in my life.

I am constantly learning new things about my skin and now I am mostly using asian products and The Ordinary. My skin has been getting clear since November and I can’t even talk about the happiness that I feel when I look in the mirror and I see my face glowing, healthy and happy! I have never seen it like this in almost 9 years! I can’t believe I managed to fix such a tremendous issue without a doctor! I don’t have acne anymore and I got rid of hyperpigmentation too.

Knowledge is power and your skin can get better. I was honestly getting used to the idea that hormonal acne is a part of me and I will never get rid of it. Acne doesn’t define you!

If you are struggling with this, please remember that it can get better, it just takes time and you really need to learn about so many things, all of them essential from my point of view.

So this is my story, I wanted to share with you something a bit more positive. Sure there is always room for improvement and my face is still healing but I feel like this is one of my biggest achievements.

For the first time I am happy with my own face.

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