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I don't know what's going on anymore...

Hey stranger…

First of all, I want to start by thanking you! Two of my articles have more than 200 views now, that’s amazing! I was happy when I reached 50 views too, it’s crazy how many people read what I post given the fact that I have started posting again less than a month ago.

You are all fantastic and your messages keep me going, otherwise I probably wouldn’t write here anymore…

Now let’s talk about how unfortunate I seem to be…

Today I was supposed to fly back to my country but two days ago I found out that they cancelled the flight and I wasn’t informed, mostly because I booked it using my work account and that was an employee ticket. I got in touch with them (can’t wait to see the bill at the end of the month since they are charging per minute) and I rebooked it for June 1st…which means, tomorrow I will spend my birthday here, alone and miserable. Fantastic GIFT! At least I bought the candles...

I had it all planned to be home for three weeks, now I have eight days and If I want to change the other ticket, I have to pay a fee and for sure I will have to go into self-isolation for two weeks. I guess I will just buy another ticket to return but from a different airport, I checked the prices and they are more than accessible, for now.

Yeah, gotta love my luck!

I think I also got a new job, I just have to complete the training and they said it’s fine if I start working once I return from home.

It’s a healthcare assistant job, I only applied because somehow, I was doing this in my personal life for about four years and honestly, I am kind of desperate right now. There are no jobs, there is an issue with the unemployment benefits which I still need to sort out and you know, any income is better no income! I need something for the summer, I will have to pull long shifts, 6 days a week, so I could at least earn a salary close to what I used to get when I was a flight attendant. So, I guess I will have to manage my money better, I still have some monthly payments that I can’t stop so I don’t know, just focusing on buying groceries and instead of putting a lot of pressure on myself to save every month the usual amount of money (which was quite a lot), I will try to save like half of it and see how it goes. As I mentioned before, I already have enough to move there and survive for like two months with no income. I just want to add a bit more for extra safety.

As far as I am concerned, I already have what it used to be my savings goal last year in order to move to London. Yey!

I just want to focus on my Personal Trainer course before I start working.

There is another issue too, my university said that they don’t know if autumn courses will be online or will start normally. If they are online, then I will have to postpone moving there. Meh, everything seems to be a mess.

Also, update on those biotin supplements: they made my skin break out so bad and I only took them for 5 days so I am returning them as soon as possible.

I am struggling with motivation quite hard, I have a tailored schedule for different days so I could keep track and be more productive but I just feel like I am forcing myself to do things right now… I hope it will get better soon.

I guess this is nobody’s year but I just hope it will have a good ending.

I am trying my best to stay productive and work towards healing and progress. It doesn’t matter if today just doesn’t feel like I have done my best, I won’t put myself down. I refuse to feel sad and blame myself because I can't always live up to my own expectations.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I might write a birthday article and post it.

I hope you are all okay and stay safe!

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