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Hello October!

Updated: Oct 7, 2020

Dear stranger...

Day 4 of trying to post this!

I hope you are well!

I am doing okay, just dealing with work, a lot of studying because University starts on the 5th, and I am so excited. I still have many orientation modules and a book to finish but I will do it.

This is the beginning of my new life and I just feel motivated to study! I am learning so many interesting things right now but I definitely need to focus more on studying! I asked the family desk for my room because I don't have a place to keep my books and notes and, I bought my university books (still have 1 important one but it can wait a bit longer), extra notebooks, index cards and white bulletin board. As you can see, I am taking this seriously! I will have to keep motivating myself to stay on track but I think this is a good start!

I also attended some optional workshops that prepare students for university and academic writing, critical thinking and so on. Two days ago I had my introductory class with the lecturer, the personal tutor and my colleagues. They seem nice. I am one of the very young people in the class which I don't mind because the whole year will be online. Of course, like any person, I hope to go to university and meet people my age, have a group of friends, meet someone special. This won't happen this year.

Anyhow, they said that the CertHE (Certificate of Higher Education, which I am doing now) helps me progress into LLB Law afterwards and I can apply to Oxford or Cambridge if I don't want to study with my current university). I am not saying that I am really considering this because it would be a huge step, but I am not sure either. Oxford is very competitive and the admission rate is quite low but Cambridge might be an option. I will have to do my research because I don't know what they are looking for yet, I would also have to move out of London and find a job there. I think classes are during the day, so I will really have to work hard and build an online business to afford living while working part-time. Okay, only thinking about this makes me stressed, this is definitely a matter for another day. The great part about this year is that I will have classes only on Monday, and from April I will have 1-2 classes per week. Great news, right? I can focus a bit more on my Personal Trainer course, I must admit I have been slacking, a lot...

I am not proud of this but I have been trying my best to get back at it and study a bit every day...

Okay, let’s talk about my appointment. I spent almost 6 hours at the hospital, they made me take some X-rays of my long bones and my knees, checked my MRI again, and they decided that I won’t have any surgery in the next six months. Of course, it’s still an option, but they think I am too young to go straight to surgery, especially considering the fact that I am not injured. They suggested that I should try physiotherapy first. I guess I will have to do this for the next 6 months. I can’t deny it, it made me feel a bit hopeless because I was getting used to the idea that surgery will happen and it will actually help me get rid of the pain. It’s okay, I need a new mindset!!! I can still workout, I know what kind of exercises do trigger the pain more, so I found some alternatives and made a list. I have my appointment on the 12th (I really appreciate that the doctor tried to get me a face to face appointment with a physiotherapist instead of a Zoom call, given the fact that there is a second lockdown in the U.K. and they are trying to have fewer people in the hospital) and after he/she does my full body assessment, I will ask some questions about training as well!

Just to let you know, it’s confirmed now that what I have is not an injury from when I was an athlete, I was born with it, it's my bone structure... That was a very hard pill to swallow! My right knee is more affected but I have the same problem with the left one...

Anyway, enough about this. I have positive things to say too.

First, a few days ago I met two new girls, felt a bit weird, but we had brunch and that place was absolutely lovely! I am absolutely determined to push myself out of my comfort zone even more and just meet new people. I also got some new stuff half price (yeah, I know, I spent a lot of money this month). Treat yourself September is over, now it’s time for Save money and No more Excuses October! I should totally write a to-do list with things that I need to do before the end of this year and boundaries that I should break because I feel like I’ve become this person that doesn’t really take risks anymore, I take too many precautions, I play it safe and I don’t know how to go with the flow. I was so focused on making sure that I am financially set and settled that I forgot how to simply enjoy the process. Don’t be focused only on your destination, you might lose yourself and honestly, I am not sure if you can actually go back to being your former self.

My last article didn’t get so many views because my website got disconnected from google for no reason and I didn’t receive any email informing me about this, I randomly saw that when I checked my website from my laptop since the app doesn’t show anything. You may understand how this is very frustrating because I keep having issues with posting articles and I paid for this website. As I have mentioned in my previous article, I am considering using another platform. I am still looking for one but I’d really appreciate your suggestions. Of course, I’d also like to know if you guys are willing to read my articles on another platform, after all, your constant support means a lot to me.

I guess this is all for today, I feel exhausted no matter what I do but today it just seems worse. I need to revise some notes and study. Such a busy day, but I am grateful for everything.

Please let me know what you think about the websites Squarespace and GoDaddy.

Take care of yourself! Love you!

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