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Hello November!

Hi you!

How are you? Please think about how you really feel...

I promise I’m not forgetting about my blog, I’ve just been so bloody busy! Last week I worked double shifts but I’m happy I received double payment too. 12 hours with an energetic kid is a lot, even if it’s your kid.

I have pretty much nothing new to write, maybe a few updates that aren’t so relevant.

For my UK readers, I know it’s hard and overwhelming that England is in lockdown again, but we will get through this! We managed to be strong enough for the first one when it was completely unexpected, I’m confident we will do it again! For everyone else, you will get through this as well, I know that many countries are already in lockdown...

Since I moved to London I barely go out, I work from home, so I just go to the gym or I just go for a walk. I rarely try to meet someone and sometimes I just go to buy some food so things are the kind of the same for me. I will miss the gym, I was finally getting over my anxiety and trying new exercises and I also managed to exercise in front of the mirror wall, yey!

I did write a full schedule, so I could work out at home and use the treadmill to get more steps and call it lazy cardio. Tomorrow I am going to the hospital again and I will tell the physiotherapist that I do need the knee injections, it will make it a lot easier for me to move...

By the way, since the end of June until now, I haven’t lost any weight but I haven’t gained any back either, not really at least. I have days when I’m just bloated, especially when I don’t rest enough (that’s has been a major problem in the last 2 months) and that’s when the scale shows 1.5 or 2 kg more, it fluctuates a lot! I can’t only blame the scale, I have been seriously lacking motivation and consistency. I’d eaten sweets and carbs like I don’t care but I haven’t been okay either. Again, this isn’t an excuse, I know! I will do my best to reduce processed sugar, this is the fourth day and trust me, I am still going through sugar withdrawal! I’m mostly trying to cook vegetarian recipes and so far I find them great. Love the motivation that I am feeling! Remember, you can fall off the wagon but you can always take control of your life again, no matter how hard it might be!

I even tried to buy a barbell set, so I could work on my form more but the stock was faulty and the order was cancelled. I’m still waiting for my refund...

I do want to buy a pull-up bar and work on my upper body strength. I’m surely weak, I doubt that I can do even one pull-up...

Also, I bought a gratitude journal and it's simply amazing! I try to start my day and write down at least 2 positive thoughts and something that I am grateful for and my mood has improved considerably. Last month, I stopped using the contraceptive patches because they were constantly triggering hormonal and cystic acne, they also affected my mood and my libido big time! Now my skin is clear again and I don't feel apathetic anymore! Always do what's best for you!

One thing that I really want to do is to start filming some workouts and post them on Instagram, I’m literally like a ghost. My new account doesn’t have any face pictures, therefore I bought 3 more pairs of leggings haha... I might actually show my face on there too!

Other than that, university is a bit overwhelming. I need to write an essay and the deadline is next Friday. My Personal Trainer course is hard as hell! Not even kidding, I’m studying medical things and it feels more overwhelming than studying law...

I’m not saying that I don’t like it, I find it more fascinating than studying law but I feel like it’s just too much for this course and for being a Personal Trainer...

Before it used to be 18 months in order to complete this course if you choose distance learning and now they made it 12 months which is pretty bad. This is the most advanced and difficult course and it’s distance learning... I don’t even have a teacher to bloody ask for some explanation.

It’s hard to manage a full time job, a course like this and university. Sometimes I just want to scream because I get angry with myself! I feel anxious seeing how much I have to study, and yet I have so little time. The lack of proper sleep is affecting me big time and I struggle to focus but hey, I’m working on going to sleep earlier....

If you are wondering what happened to X, if he’s still alive or not... well, I have no freaking idea! His birthday is tomorrow so, happy 21, I guess. If you are alive, remember I still wish you only happiness!

That’s it for today! I apologize for not being able to answer your messages about my previous article but I want you to know that I read them and I appreciate all your kind words and support! Thank you and I love you!

Thanks to you, my year hasn't been so bad! Thanks for making my life better!

Take care!

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