Updated: Aug 22, 2020
If you could explain to someone what healing means, what would you say?
This article is about life lessons and gratitude.
If you are reading this now, you might have probably read my other articles too.
I know you can tell that I was suffering and my heart was broken. The person that I wrote so much about, usually with tears in my eyes, he is the one that encouraged me to let people see what I usually write or maybe just my way of saying things.
I want to thank him for that. Although writing about my emotional pain was some kind of therapy, I believe that I could write positive things too. I want to be that person who writes about happiness, progress, healing, the person who can genuinely smile and see more than just darkness.
Life isn’t just pain and we walk on Earth in order to experience so much more than that.
Some time ago I was afraid of the night because I knew that I would be alone and there was nobody around me so no more faking being okay. That was always the time I was facing my feelings, that’s when it hurt the most. I cried myself to sleep way too many nights, I have lost count.
Three days ago I wanted to see if I am making any progress so I decided to look at his pictures and read old conversations. I know, not a wise decision.
They were full of love and young promises. We wanted forever but we couldn’t even have tomorrow.
Let me be honest with you, I still miss this person but this time I could look at him and my eyes didn’t fill with tears, my heart didn’t start racing acknowledging his absence once again. I felt at peace knowing that he isn’t coming back. I don’t know why he left straight after many promises of love but I am done looking for answers and blaming myself.
I loved him and I still wish him happiness and all the best. I am grateful for everything we had and shared.
Someone told me that we can’t dwell on the past. That’s absolutely correct. You can’t bring back the dead.
I just want to ask you to focus on something good that you have in your life, please don’t spend your nights trying to find answers and doubting yourself. Please don’t break your heart even more. I know it’s easier said than done but remember that you gave your best. If someone wants to walk out of your life after all your efforts, you just have to hold the door for them and let them go. We can’t beg for love and respect. We can’t force people to choose us and stay in our lives. We deserve so much more than one sided love and relationships.
To the person who broke my heart, thank you for teaching me how strong I actually am. This is the much needed closure I was looking for.
I forgive you and I am finally ready to move on.